Facing His Fear (Sima)

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Once the two made it home, Lilith unlocked the door, going inside to gather what she'd needed. She didn't bring anything with her when they left for the festival, because she hadn't known she'd been paired with Sima - she didn't think she would need anything. Once inside, she went to find her bag, throwing a book, her sketch book and some drawing things inside it, before moving to the kitchen to grab a medium sized back of strawberries as well, placing them on top of everything else inside her bag. She also took a thin sheet, folding it, putting it on everything else, before shutting her bag. The air was still cooler than that of late spring-early summer, so she grabbed herself a sweater. She didn't know how long they'd be out, so she wanted to have a little of everything. Before leaving for the springs, Lilith found her dagger and hid it back inside her boot- just in case.

---

Now that she had everything, she waited for Sima, then closed the door once more, locking it. After a moment to see if he was ready, she took his hand once more, heading to the springs. There was a small flutter in her chest as she remembered, the last time she'd been at the springs, it was quite eventful. First, she ran into Aria, who had eventually gotten her to get in the water, making her naked. The Sima showed up, as well as Rivers. She'd had to try and heal a petrified foot for Rivers, draining her energy, only to find out only the boot was made of stone- not his foot. After that, Aria and Rivers decided to wrestle, while Aria was nude. Then Sima registered Liliths nudeness, and everything got awkward. Lilith stifled a giggle now, looking back on the humour of it all. She gazed up to the tall man and smiled. Being with him had sure proven to be interesting. They had accused him of stalking her, and while she didn't fully agree, she did believe he needed a hobby for when she wasn't around. 

---

The walk to the springs took about half an hour from their house, and Lilith walked in silence, unless he spoke to her, leaving him to think about what they were doing. Once they had arrived, Lilith looked at him, waiting for him to say something. They were standing on the outskirts of the springs, just beyond the bushes was the water, and they could hear it splashing softly. 

You won't be going in the water today, alright? She rubbed his arm softly, hoping this wouldn't be to much, but they had to start somewhere. 

[Sima Oratio]

Sima followed Lilith curiously, going off of her plan. He was a bit used to being the one that lead, atl east in his mind, because he always fllowed a scent. However, their was nothign wrong with following Lilith, this way he could concentrate more on the smells around them. Of course heading home was quite easy, and comforting to do so. He found himself much more comfortable when home, it was weird just how quickly this place became so comforting. He remembered the first time he entered, how it seemed so lonely. Now however it was full of both of their scents, and dispersed in the air, as if their was lots of motion. Before it was almost the opposite. 

He sat on the couch while waiting for Lilith to grab the items she needed, feeling surprisingly relaxed. When she grabbed the items he got back up off the couch and followed. He wasn't quite sure what he should say to her. Sima kpet his steps within rhythmic timing with Lilith's own. In fact he made sure that his own feet would be in sync with hers. It was odd to say the least, but it helped pass the time, especially for someone who was nervous. 

When they finally made it near the water, he certainly found himself un-prepared, knowing that he should still try anyways. When Lilith spoke about him not entering the water, he looked up into her eyes cautiously. "Ok," Sima groaned lightly. "Well where do I go then?" Sima felt like he would need direction, and a bit of a forceful push, without it he might not even get close enough to say that it was even progress. 

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Lilith gave him a small, encouraging smile, and tugged on his head. She pulled him past the end of the trees and bushes, revealing the springs, and the rocks that surrounded them. It was like a small pool, in the middle of grass, rocks and trees, like someone had just dropped it here. She stopped them, a good ten feet away from the actual spring, and released his hand.

Hold on for one second, okay? She walked easily over the the end of the rocks, where some were flat, and other piled up around it, like a wall to lean on. She opened her bag and pulled out the blanket, flinging it out to lay it flat. She smoothed it out, making sure the corners were flat. Once that was finished, she returned to Sima and took his hand again, making him walk ever so slowly, around the water, to the rocks that were placed behind it. She was patient, soothing, not moving to fast and keeping her eyes on his. Once they reached the blanket, she moved so she was not longer in front of him, guiding him, but next to him waiting.

I thought we could sit here, relax for a while, and see what happens. Is that alright? She held his arm, being the barrier between Sima and the water, as she stood between them. If he were to freak out, she would fall in, not him. Though, they were still far enough away, that unless she was thrown in, she couldn't possibly just fall into the water.

---

The sky was still bright blue, but the day was no longer as new, as by the time they had left their house, is was mid afternoon. Lilith didn't mind if they spent the rest of the day here, as long as he was willing to try. She could hear birds chirping, and various wild life near by. That was why she'd thought this was a good idea. Sima could hear the water clearly, but he could hear many other things as well. If he could learn to meld it together, to not worry about one thing specifically, it would definitely count as progress.

[Sima Oratio]

Sima followed Lilith paying close attention to her words. "Ok," He responded to Lilith, staying in place, like a loyal puppy. He waited for Lilith to return, keeping an eye on her however. He didn't move closer, nor did he move away. He just kept his feet planted for the time being. When Lilith returning taking his hand, he was not too excited about it. Considering he knew he would be heading quite close to the water. His heart beat ever so faster the closer he approached the water with Lilith. Sima followed her until the blanket, and when she let go, he felt so bad like retreating from this spot. He however, knowing that he must try, sat down. This helped him cope, considering he was no longer standing, and it was more difficult to get him into the water. "Sounds good to me.." His voice was slightly shaken as he spoke, starring into the blue pond of death. It certainly wasn't something he felt happy about. 

Siam gripped onto the blanket fiercely, feeling that it would be better if he tore the blanket, not Lilith's hands. When he got like this he wasn't always rational, so he was trying his best to keep himself from doing anything that could be stupid. One would be squeezing Lilith's hand far too strongly. 

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She sat with him, sitting so she was in front of him, obscuring his view of the water. Staring at it would only freak him out. She sat directly in front of him, moving so her hands were on either side of him, on top of both of his hands, while the clutched the blanket. Doing this, meant she was leaning in closer to him, but she had no intention to kiss him, simply to try and help him relax. The tension in his voice was more than clear.

She looked at his eyes, waiting for him to return the look, to look at her instead of the water. She held the tops of his hands tightly feeling how tightly he was gripping the sheet. She had a feeling it wouldn't be coming home with them in one piece, but it didn't bother her at all.

---

Okay. Look at me Sima. Focus only on me. She didn't really want the attention, that wasn't it, but what else could he focus on besides her. She intended on reading with/to him later, drawing some, for/of him, but right now, he couldn't be that relaxed. So, until then, she would sit with him and help him, focusing purely on him. This was all for him.

[Sima Oratio]

Sima listened to her words, looking into her eyes rather than the water. This did help him calm down about where he was. He remembered when he fell in last time, how fast his heart beat. He could have sworn it was a heart attack, yet he kept that to himself, whenever their seemed to be something wrong that was the go to choice. Thsi waso nly to protect Lilith however, she didn't need to worry about him. Even so, no matter how badly he wanted to stand tall against this fear, and make sure that Lilith didn't notice it, he just couldn't hide it. He was quite good at hiding stress, worry, doubt, depression. He was quite adept at it, at least until he snapped. Lilith seemed to be able to make him more emotional that he wanted to be, and she was able to coax things out of him he would not share with anyone else. 

Despite wanting to keep this fear down, so that Lilith didn't have to worry about it, he just couldn't do it. It was far too frieghtening, and it was one of the few things that almost completely disabled him. It was much better here than in the water at least. Sima noted how close he was to the water, for a brief moment taking his eyes off of Lilith. "Don't worry I'll calm down soon Lilith.." He was worried that this might be an annoyance for her, she might get bored, considering he wouldn't be talking in this state. Sima was very prone to these negative thoughts, he tried to avoid them, but they often circled in his head. 

He never however acted upon these thoughts, knowing that they were not the truth, or at least hoping they are not. He never wanted to inconvenience Lilith by having to ask questions that seemed like he had no trust for her. 

When he looked at her hands however, and the way she was helping him so carelessly, he would understand why he would be so upset if something did happen to their relationship. Sima would be back to where he began on this world, and, he knew he wouldn't be able to handle that. 

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She shook her head at him, still not moving her eyes from his. Sima, it's not a matter of how fast you calm down. Take your time. Rushing it, or forcing it will do absolutely nothing for you. Her voice was slow, and calming. She made sure to keep her tone steady, making sure her words were clear and audible. She kept her hands on his, remaining in her leaned forward/kneeling position. It certainly wasn't the most comfortable of seating options, but she pushed it from her mind, focusing on the task, rather than her discomfort.

---

The odd thing was, the swooshing sounds of the water were comforting to her, were what kept her calm in a lot of situations. Her patients were not running thin, nor was she bored. She was all in on helping him, no matter what she had to do. She gently rubbed her thumb on one of his hands, looking for more ways to comfort him, to pull his mind from the water entirely. The point here, was for him to not focus on it at all- to almost forget they were even by water. Maybe something humorous would help? There was no harm in trying she supposed.

---

If I'm going to help you around water, perhaps we should be taking more bathes together- it certainly couldn't do any harm, now could it? She arched an eyebrow at her statement, her face instantly going red by the time she stopped speaking. What had she been thinking? How on earth could that help in this situation? She narrowed her eyes and looked mortified for a moment before shaking her head and returning her gaze to his, apologetically.

My apologies, I really don't know why I thought that would help, or how it could even be appropriate in this situation. She really would try anything to help him, that much she knew for fact. Even if it meant saying crude things to him aloud, rather than just thinking them.

[Sima Oratio]

Sima listened to her calming voice. He enjoyed the soothing sound. He kept his eyes on her as best as he could, if not for how afraid he was he would probably be enjoying every second of it. He didn't need her hands to sit here, or well, perhaps he didn't want to admit it. THe last time he approahced the water it was because, and only because, Lilith was in the water. He tried to get her out, but than Rivers, at least from Sima's perspective, pulled him in. 

Sima felt that perhaps the water could be calming, if it wasn't so terrifying. He could only remember the time when he was so young, the people he trusted the most were the ones that tried to drown him. It hurt, just thinking of the betrayal that went on. It was hard to even trust someone like Lilith near water, simply because of what they did to him. Drowning was a horrible way to die, and he really hoped that it would not be the way he would go. "Lilith, can't you just, heal the fear out of me?" He whispered under his breath knowing he was asking for too much.


His eyes however widened after hearing her proposal. They should bathe more often together? This plan of hers seemed to be working, because he was no longer thinking of drowning. "Well, I wouldn't mind, we'd only have to fill one tub, we'd be saving water, for other uses.." Sima obviously tried to justify that they should be bathing together more often. When she apologized about it, he simply didn't believe it was that bad. "Don't worry about it.." Sima looked at her face, and how it flared up. Lilith was certainly doing a beautiful job at keeping his attention. 

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At the sound of his whisper, her heart near broke. If the solution were that simple she would have done it the moment she knew of his fear, he knew that. But oh, how she wished she could. You know I can't love. I wish I could. She whispered at the same level he had, trying to remain on his level, to understand in pain. His fear was far from irrational, and it made perfect sense given what happened to him.

---

Seeing as her eyes were still glued to his, she saw them widen visibly, knowing it was from her comment. She wasn't too surprised that he agreed with her, but she was surprised at how calm his voice seemed to be. Was her distraction working? Perhaps she should go along with it, despite her visible blushing and modesty. If it helped him, that was what mattered. Lilith cleared her throat, her purple eyes wide, darting away from his for a fleeting second, returning with a sense of determination, mixed with obvious awkwardness in them. Her voice however, came out almost exactly the way she wanted.

_{Saving water... Yes, that is one good thing about it... Another would be, oh... I don't know.  She smiled. How it felt when you washed my hair. Then my shoulders... and so on. Her face was red, and she knew if he wanted, he could see right through what she was saying. Her goal was not arousal though, it was to get his focus away from the actual springs. Associating water with good things - or in this case sexual things- was a step towards not being afraid of it. Though she wouldn't lie, talking like this was so new to her, it made her feel so awkward and childlike.} 

[Sima Oratio]

Sima looked at her as she continued to talk about the benefits of them bathing together. With her talking so forward about bathing together he was slightly happy about it. Sure the last time it led to a more passionate scene, but Sima did really believe that bathing together was a good way to keep each other really close. He enjoyed helping her bather, and didn't mind lathering her, or doing her hair for her. In fact Sima wanted to do these things, Sima wanted her to enjoy it, or at least hoped she enjoyed it. If she didn't, or he could not find something she enjoyed, perhaps he'd have to ask bluntly. He wanted her to be happy, and it meant he had to have an effort right? 

Sima sat there looking at her cheeks, and how red they had become. It was certainly taking his mind off of the waterk, but he still knew it was there, he just had a better time relaxing. "I can smell the charcoal you brought with you," Sima admitted. "Were you thinking of drawing something?" He asked curiously, looking in the direction of the scent. "Don't let me stop you from doing it Lilith, as much as I know your here to help me, it does not mean I should stop you from doing anything you want to do." Sima knew it would be a bit difficult if she started to ignore him and immediately start drawing right away, but he didn't care, he would deal with it if it made Lilith happy. 

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She glanced at her bag, sitting not to far from them, at the other end of the blanket. She had intended to draw, but with him involved. She was happy for the change in distraction, that she couldn't deny.

I was, perhaps the rocks, or you. Depended on how everything went. But, you aren't stopping me from doing anything. We came here for this reason, I'm not just going to sit back and watch you deal with this- or do you not want my help anymore? She looked back at him, her face dropping slightly. She only brought those things incase they made progress, and he was able to focus on things like her reading to him, or vice versa. She slowly removed her hands from on top of his, looking down at her lap.

[Sima Oratio]

Sima needed her help still. However he found this difficult to admit. Especially for someone that felt like taking on every challenge alone. He decided that not responding could be the best response, or responding with his actions. "If you want, you can draw." Sima however, despite saying this, grabbed her hands in a way that almost spelled the almost. He felt that he would rather not say it out loud, and, he didn't want to seem so needy in front of Lilith. "But, if you draw me, you have to get my good side ok?" Sima felt like it was a good saying to fill in any blank awkward silence. 

Sima wasn't entirely sure if he really wanted to be painted at this time. He didn't really feel that badly, and his heart rate seemed to be declining slightly. He was still aware of the water near him, and still afraid. However he felt less of a need to leave. Sima kept his eyes upon her like she wanted, however he was in fact tempted to look at the water. He had seen oceans and lakes plenty of time before, but he always tried to avoid looking, or thinking about them. 

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She heard his words, but his actions spoke other wise. She held his hands in hers, and sat down instead of kneeling, their hands hanging between them. She brought her eyes back up to his and immediately knew his actions meant more than his words in this instant. He was being brave, not wanting to look scared or weak. She knew she could tell him he didn't have to hide it, but she had a feeling it was a pride moment. She would let him do as he wished, because at the end of it all, he had to know she could see right through it.

---

How about a compromise? I won't move away to draw, but, how about I read to you. I will still sit right here, and you can focus on me and the sound of my voice. She found the idea nerve-racking, she was never one for reading aloud. Yet, if it helped him, she had no worry in her mind. The bag was at the other end of the blanket, and would only take a second to grab it, but she didn't move. She would wait until she had his full agreement before getting up. After all, she'd moved her hands just inches away and he took them back right after. If he couldn't handle her getting up to grab it, well, then she'd have to make one up. But would he admit not being okay?

[Sima Oratio]

Sima looked at her as she proposed a 'compromise'. He listened carefully to her, as she suggested that she would read something to him he couldn't help but be intrigued by the idea. "That sounds good Lilith," He replied as calmly as he could. He was actually quite curious to find out exactly what this story was. "What type of book? A romance? An action? A comedy? A romaction comedy, fantasy, fiction, non fiction?" Sima didn't really admit how interestinghe was in books. He found them to be portals to other worlds, at least until he was brought into another world. He read them for fun, he found it aazing how someone could just make a whole world out of nothing but their mind. It was beautiful to read these stories true or made-up. 

Everyone had a story to tell, and he thought that it was why books could be so amazing. He let go of Lilith's hands, feeling a bit of un ease, like perhaps he was being too needy. Sima however realized something that for some reason he had not picked up from earlier. "Hey wait a minute, Lilith, did you call me love?" 

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He released her hands, and after a moment of hesitation, she moved to stand up. She picked up her bag, with a glance back at Sima, and took the whole bag back with her, to save her from having to go and get it again. Not even a minute later she was sitting back down in front of him, once again obscuring his view of the water. She could have had him sitting with his back to the water, but she'd had a feeling that would make him more uncomfortable, like someone pulling him in. With him facing it, he could see everything around the water. If he was afraid someone would push him in, she was in front of him, so it would knock her into the water first. She planned it all out carefully while they had walked here.

---

Lilith pulled the small paperback book out of her bag. It was titled "Eragon", in bold, golden letters, across the otherwise black cover binding. With a glance at Sima, she scooted forward so that their knees were touching, thinking he may need some form of contact. Lilith opened the book to the first page, despite the book mark 3/4 into the book, and opened her mouth to read, but quickly closed it, hearing his question.

I -um-.... I might have... Yes, I think I did. She blushed, tucking her hair behind her ear, which Sima, by now, must have known is her nervous tick. She glanced up it him for a fleeting second, her eyes betraying how much she liked the idea of calling him that, before looking back at the book, cleaning her throat to read. Her voice clear and precise, despite the pink flushed skin that was slowly fading to her regular ivory tone. It seemed to resonate in the otherwise quite clearing of the springs.

---

    

The sky was clear and dark, and a slight breeze stirred the air. A silvery cloud drifted over the mountains that surrounded him, its edges glowing with ruddy light cast from the harvest moon cradled between two peaks. Streams flowed down the mountains from stolid glaciers and glistening snowpacks. A brooding mist crept along the valley’s floor, almost thick enough to obscure his feet.
    Eragon was fifteen, less than a year from manhood. Dark eye- brows rested above his intense brown eyes. His clothes were worn from work. A hunting knife with a bone handle was sheathed at his belt, and a buckskin tube protected his yew bow from the mist. He carried a wood-frame pack.
    The deer had led him deep into the Spine, a range of untamed mountains that extended up and down the land of Alagaësia  
Strange tales and men often came from those mountains, usually boding ill. Despite that, Eragon did not fear the Spine—he was the only hunter near Carvahall who dared track game deep into its craggy recesses.
    It was the third night of the hunt, and his food was half gone. If he did not fell the doe, he would be forced to return home empty-handed. His family needed the meat for the rapidly approaching winter and could not afford to buy it in Carvahall.
    Eragon stood with quiet assurance in the dusky moonlight, then strode into the forest toward a glen where he was sure the deer would rest. The trees blocked the sky from view and cast feathery shadows on the ground. He looked at the tracks only occasionally; he knew the way.
    At the glen, he strung his bow with a sure touch, then drew three arrows and nocked one, holding the others in his left hand. The moonlight revealed twenty or so motionless lumps where the deer lay in the grass. The doe he wanted was at the edge of the herd, her left foreleg stretched out awkwardly.
    Eragon slowly crept closer, keeping the bow ready. All his work of the past three days had led to this moment. He took a last steady- ing breath and—an explosion shattered the night.
    The herd bolted. Eragon lunged forward, racing through the grass as a fiery wind surged past his cheek. He slid to a stop and loosed an arrow at the bounding doe. It missed by a finger’s breadth and hissed into darkness. He cursed and spun around, instinctively nocking another arrow.

---

She paused here, glancing up at Sima to check on how he was doing, and whether or not he liked it. She would continue if
he said so.


(Quote taken from the Book, Eragon, by Christopher Paolini. )