The Fruit of Love's Desire [Sima and Lilith]

[Sima Oratio]

It was apparent that Sima didn't want to tell her exactly what he believed he would be doing had he not met her. "I suppose I would be trying to save up as much money as possible, more than I already am now, and doing it rather depressively too." Sima found it rather nice, when it was just the two of them. He didn't have to worry about anything at all, most of the time. SIma listened to her heart beat, the way it felt when her body lifted ever so slightly while she took a breath. It was always the little things, especially the warmth that always seemed to be created no matter where he was touching Lilith. Her nose, leg, face, it didn't matter, it was always an amazing feeling. 

"Lilith, so, If I was to disappear, what do you think you'd do?" Sima looked into her eyes almost with a feeling of desperation. He was not going to leave her, nor could he. He was just curious, if the feelings he would have, if Lilith were to disappear, would match her feelings, if Sima was to disappear. "If you were to disappear I doubt I'd be able to handle it." Sima laughed nervously. "Lily, your all I have in this world, and It kind of scares me to admit it." Sima never stopped looking into her eyes, it was something he couldn't stop himself from doing. They gave him such an awkward feeling, a sensation reminiscent of his past, of horror, yet filled with many other good feelings all at the same time. 

"It scares me because, you could break my heart, as much as I could break yours. At least we are at a stalemate then, " Sima sighed alleviating how nervous he felt admitting some of these things. 

[Deleted]

She nodded at his response, feeling there was more to his words than were actually spoken. There were some things she wouldn't push him on, despite her previous feelings of frustration. Some situations were different than others. She remainder quiet against him. Acutely aware of every movement, every breath, every heart beat that she could feel due to their sides being pressed together. It was a calming feeling, one she wouldn't trade for anything. 

Lilith was more than content like this, something so simple. 

However, at the words Sima spoke, Lilith's face became stunned, not knowing how to answer that question. She knew the emotions she'd feel, she knew her reaction- she just didn't know the words. She sat up, putting her hands in her lap, looking at them. When he said how he'd react to her disappearance, it was slight reassurance, but the words still had a hard time forming in her mouth. 

If you were to leave- for whatever reason... I'd be lost... I-I don't think I'd know how to live anymore. I can't go back to the way I was, looking back now, that was terrible lifestyle, so dark and lonely... You bring so much light into my world Sima... I wouldn't be able to handle a life of darkness again... Her words barely escaped her lips, her tongue making it hard to speak as her throat tried to close. The sound of him uttering the words Lily, you're all I have in this world, and it kind of scares me to admit it. It scares me because, you could break my heart, as much as I could break yours. threw her over the line. 

She'd promised to stop crying, again and again, yet his words were making it oh so difficult. Only a single tear fell, but she knew she couldn't fool him. Wiping it away, she met his gaze, staring into the deep pools of blue, for the first time, becoming aware of the emotion hidden behind the rest.

Sima... Why do you look at me like that? Her tone was hesitant, scared that she was treading on shaky waters, not wanting to overstep any boundaries. 

I see love in your eyes, so much love, and kindness. Happiness, and comfort... I can tell everything you say, you mean the truth. But I notice something behind it all... I don't find it to be a bad thing, but I wonder. Why is there such a sad feeling hiding behind your eyes? I've seen it before, but never registered what it was... It's only when you look in my eyes... why? There was no harsh tone to her word, pure innocence and curiosity, spoken in the softest pitch aside from whispering. 

Lilith raised a delicate hand to caress the side of his face, next to his eye, pushing all hair out of her way in the process. She turned her whole body so it was angle towards him, raising her other hand now to do the same on the opposite side. 

She felt no offence, no worry or grief, just simple curiosity to learn how he worked, what he was thinking, and what hindered him about her eyes. She knew she could change nothing regardless, her eyes would always be as they were- but knowing could never hurt her- not when it came to him. She gazed softly into his orbs of regal blue, showing only the purest of intentions in her lilac iris's, her pink lips pouting slightly in the relaxation of her face. The blush from before had now faded, leaving only the regular porcelain of her skin tone behind. The sun could only do good for her complexion, so long as she didn't burn.

[Sima Oratio]

Sima looked away from her. "Something behind my eyes?" He had a good idea of what exactly she meant. It was more than likely how scared she made him, how he knew so easily what he wanted from her. The terrifying fact of their relationship. Something behind his eyes, how could he tell her what was really behind it all? Telling her this could drive her away, although she knew to a extent that he was afraid of their relationship the true reasoning for it wasn't so black and white. Their were many things that made him afraid, but above all else, the lingering fear in his eyes, that had to be the reason for it all, was never spoken. 

"I guess it's because with each and every passing day, that I spend with you. I feel ever more confident that I want to be yours, and yours to be mine. Every day it becomes more apparent that I will one day want to walk down with the isle with you. However, I know, that I'm going to have to look into your beautiful eyes for that entire lifetime. And whenever I do look into your eyes, I can't help but think if things will play out the same way as last time. Your eyes are the same color as my ex-wife." It hurt a bit to call his wife 'ex' but he knew it would help him cope with what had happened. 

"It's nerve racking to admit all of this, but, when I look into your eyes I see everything you see in mine. Love, kindness, happiness. However I also see things like betrayal. It's hard for me to not see it, and I feel guilty that I sometimes can't look in your eyes and forget about my ex-wife." 

"I guess that's why you see what you do," Sima's heart beat sped up lightly, but their was no tension in his body. "I only hope you accept me regardless of it," He scratched the back of his head nervously, she would probably know by now that it was his nervous twitch. 

"You scare me even more, because these feelings come much faster then with her. I have to trust you a lot more, in such a quick time. It's very difficult for me, I apologize." Sima felt like apologizing because his own hangups could obviously have affects for their relationship. 

[Deleted]

Lilith let him think, knowing very well it wasn't always easy to answer such unintended heavy questions. She kept her hands at his face, holding him lightly, needing the contact more for herself than anything. Her face was inches away from his, but she didn't move, not until he spoke, and she moved a few more inches away, but not removing her hands. With each and every word, she was happy she didn't let go of him, now she needed it for comfort. Nothing he said hurt her, or made her uncomfortable. In fact, like a teenage girl, the back of her mind was intent on making her focus on the fact he said he'd one day want to marry her. She had to force that out of her ind to focus on the rest.

Her eyes. They were the same colours as her..? Lilith had gotten into thinking her, in reference to Hotaru. She didn't know her personally, and therefore felt odd thinking her name, but couldn't bring herself to think "the ex-wife" either- it seemed to harsh. A lot of things seemed to make sense to her know- How when they first met he had a hard time maintaining eye contact, how he even know, sometimes couldn't look at her for long, or when he was upset. They reminded him of her. Lilith wished she could do something to change them, to do anything to make it easier on him, but what could she do?

Betrayal? Lilith supposed the hauntings of her past may still linger in her eyes, or maybe he was referencing her... It was hard to tell. But it made sense... The trust, the relationship. He'd taken time to know Hotaru, to learn her, to love her, and eventually to trust her... He'd known Lilith for less than two months, and she was pulling fits because he didn't trust her. What was wrong with her?

Sima, I will and would always accept you, no matter what, I want you to know that. But I am so sorry... I had no idea. If there was anything I could do, to change my eye colour, I would- I don't particularly like them anyway to be honest... They've always made me stand out. But I'm sorry, I keep forgetting that things are different. Trust... it doesn't just appear... and I'm so sorry for making you try to trust me.. But I love you, no matter what. You don't need to feel guilty about thinking about her- how could I ever blame you for that, Sima, she was your wife! I'm not a fool, I know that doesn't just go away! You have a past that you're dealing with, that's more than okay... But please know, that this time is different. No ones coming after you, demons aren't hunted here, and I haven't, nor will I, ever betray you. She gripped onto his face, bringing her's closer again, but not to close.

I love you Sima. With every part of me, every fibre, every part of my being. You are my world, and I would never do anything to jeopardize that... She hadn't intended to say that aloud, thinking it sounded to sappy, not wanting to freak him out. She blushed, but held her ground, cupping her hands on his cheeks, gazing into the oceans that lay in his eyes.

[Sima Oratio]

Sima looked at her, at how intent she was to keep a hold of his face. Was their some reason to this? Did she simply love to touch his face? Regardless it was calming at least. Sima listened to her words, as she spoke about being upset with him. He chuckled lightly at her words. "I don't want you to change your eye color, It may be the same, but Lily. Their is something so different about you I could never possibly compare with Hotaru." Sima groaned, once again not wanting to admit this much, but feeling as how they were talking he might as well stop caring. "How fast you make me addicted to your scent, your skin, your hair, your ear, everything about you just grows on me so much quicker.." Sima smiled pulling her in closer. "It's fast, and for me scary. However, that does not make our relationship any less. I still love those purple eyes of yours, and I know full well they are not Hotaru's. It might hurt a little bit to look into them, but I tell no lies when I say that I feel much more good then the bad." When Sima first met her, that would have been a lie. He was lucky she grew so quickly on him. 

"Lilith, I love you" Their was no more explanations needed, no more long speeches. She told him how she felt, so it would be rude not to reply. He chose to end with it, because it would be the last thing she would hear, and he wanted it to be the first thing she remembered. Sima didn't know much about her at all, so it was risky, when he knew full well how much he cared. He felt his words were true. Their relationship was fast, and scary, and ran risk of failing. However, if they pulled this relationship off, then they would have what people called true love wouldn't they? Sima kept from saying such a cheesy thought, but for some reason whenever this was brought up, it was all he felt he had to say.

[Deleted]

When he laughed, she got worried, but was soon reassured as he said he didn't want her to change. She was sure she would never understand what the differences between herself and Hotaru were -aside from what she did-, but she knew that as long as he loved them, they would remain the same. When he groaned lightly, she knew he was about to say something meaningful- she'd noticed this over time - and she was not disappointed, as he made her blush, but made her smile like an idiot as well. She was happy to know she wasn't the only one who was addicted to his scent. She giggled lightly, stroking her left thumb on his cheek softly.

It makes me very, very happy to hear that Sima. Thank you. This heavy conversations always took their toll on her, and possibly him- she wasn't sure- yet she felt so refreshed after each one, more reassurance in their relationship, more to love about him, and for him to love about her. She still had her hands on his face, so she closed the small distance -as Sima had pulled her closer yet again- and kissed the tip of his nose softly, barely pulling back when she was done, gazing into his eyes, not even 4 inches from his face now, a soft pink tinting her cheek bones and ear tips.

[Sima Oratio]

SIma was glad that this made her happy, and it made him happy too. "I'm glad it does, you mean a lot to me, Lily." He leaned in for a kiss, considering Lilith hadn't been all that too far from his anyways. He made sure not to keep his lips pressed against hers too long, considering he would probably think of doing more otherwise. "So, is their anything you want to do? We could go for a walk, that's usually entertaining, or maybe we could check out a maze, I hear there is one somewhere." Sima liked the idea of this little date, but it seemed to confine them. Sima was fine with leaving, and heading off to do other ventures. He wondered exactly what this world had, and he would in fact, if he had enough money, travel this world. Hopefully with Lilith. He felt it cliche that he wanted to do this, but it made sense to him, considering he was in fact fated. 

"Do you think I belong here Lilith? Being fated and all, I'm not sure where I fit in with this world, other being with you. I suppose bringing the food from my world will make for a unique restaurant here, but other than that, theirs another question that's been on my mind." Sima was rather not wanting to ask this, so perhaps if he found a doctor. "I will have to find a doctor I guess, " Sima scratched his head, knowing full well he couldn't ask Lilith this question, she would be so embarrassed she'd probably pop. 

[Deleted]

She leaned into the kiss lightly, lingering a little longer than she knew he intended to, but was enjoying the feeling to much to leave at that second. It only lasted a few seconds longer, but when she leaned away, she smiled softly, hearing his words. She couldn't get over him using her nick name, it had changed so much because of him. From a name used only by those in her past, mostly to tease - aside from Dimitri - was now a name of pure endearment, and love, and it gave her goosebumps every time it left his lips. At the suggestion of leaving, her mind went blank.

Where would they go? She'd never been good with taking direction, and knowing she knew more about where they were than he did, she would no doubt be leading, unless he found something on his own. Where could they go? She wasn't 100% sure on where they were to begin with, having been "poofed" here, and she'd never thought to far ahead to plan anything. How would she know she would be paired with Sima, and perhaps if she had, she would have had ideas- but there was no way she could have known.

We can walk if you like... She really didn't know. At his next question, she glanced over at him, concerned. Did he feel out of place? Of course he did, he was pulled into this world, and despite finding love, it can still be disorienting, regardless of how long it's been.

I think... that over time, you will adjust perfectly. Despite what you think, you already fit in quite nicely, and don't act any different from anyone else- aside from your beliefs of Gods, your own teachings, and your food, everything it quite the same. She wasn't sure if her words would really mean anything, but the question had caught her off guard, not knowing he'd felt that way. She felt perfectly at home with him, and he'd said the same, but being with her was different than actually being in this world. She hoped he didn't stay worried, she found him quite amazing in this world.

What do you need a doctor for, are you alright?? She was growing more concerned. She had healing magic, and though it made him uncomfortable, she would help him if he needed it, and he knew that.

[Sima Oratio]

"Walk, alright." Sima got up rather quickly, reaching his hand out to Lilith to help her up. "I always feel at home when I'm with you at least Lilith," Sima was at home with her, as long as their was no one else to spoil their alone time. He could remember back at the springs, when he had first saw her naked. A milestone within itself. He wasn't that comfortable with Rivers, nor Aria, though more comfortable with Aria than Rivers. He felt out of place immediately however, especially when he was singled out for stalking Lilith. 

Sima was reminded of him being a stalker. Perhaps it was not a good thing he could so easily locate people. After helping Lilith up from where she sat, he touched his nose rather worried about it. Did Lilith see it that way as well? Perhaps worrying about the past was idiotic. Sima, as much as he caught Lilith off guard, was caught off guard himself when she asked why he wanted to see a doctor. He blushed immediately feeling rather embarrassed about why he wanted to. "Oh no, it's nothing don't worry about it!" Sima laughed nervously, scratching the back of his head. "I just thought it would be a good time for a checkup you know?" Sima was a horrible liar sometimes wasn't he? 

[Deleted]

She smiled at his honesty, and took his hand gratefully, lifting herself up. She saw him touch his nose for a moment, so when he moved his hand, she jumped up and pecked his nose, a silly smile on her face, and a playful gleam in her eyes. The time for serious talking was over, they just needed to have fun! She looped her arm through his as they began to walk, falling into a steady pace through the gardens. The scenery was beautiful, spring coming in a full force. The trees were beginning to bloom, flowers budding, and grass brightening. She sighed, taking in a breath of the crisp end of winter air, and glanced up at Sima, in time to see him scratch the back of his head.

See, now, I know there's something else, because you're nervous. She arched an eyebrow at him as they walked, but maintained a smile.

Whatever you're worried about, you can tell me, but it's also okay if you don't. You're always allowed to keep some things to yourself. She smile softly and kissed his cheek, turning back to the greenery around them.

[Sima Oratio]

Sima continued to walk, loving the comfort of her hand in his. it was something so beautiful, that only the two of them could share, at least this deeply. Sima was glad that it seemed like she let him off the hook about his nervous actions. "Ok Lilith, I'm sorry." He responded simply like a dog that was being scolded, although perked up his attitude quickly after that. The greenery around them was really quite beautiful, and although it seemed like they had no destination, Sima was always led by his nose. They would more then likely be heading towards something that smelled interesting or sweet, he was searching for strawberries, but so far he had no luck with it. Sima would have to wait for the wind currents to change to a get a sense of the other half around him.

"So Lilith, did you enjoy the picnic?" Sima enjoyed the cheese that was for sure, he would make sure to go back later and pick up what they had left, he could use it for cooking. Although he wasn't sure if the 'god' would be angered for doing so, because Sima didn't remember preparing the basket. How did he get here? So many questions. Sima did feel a bit guilty about not telling her, considering they already went through a seminar about trust. Should he tell her? He decided to flip a coin in his head. 

It appeared that Lilith lucked out, similar to Sima on two to three separate occasions. "I asked about the doctor, cause I was curious if we could uhm.." Sima coughed as if trying to hide it. "crossbreed." Sima groaned. "I am from a different world, and different race, after all.. I just wanted to know, not that it would make me not want to be with you! I was just cur~ I'll shut up now," Sima sighed, his embarrassment showing through his face. 

[Deleted]

I did. The food was wonderful, the wine tasted perfect, the weather is starting to get better, and I have you by my side- so yeah, it was wonderful. She smiled sweetly, and held his hand tightly, swinging it lightly with her own while they walked. She was enjoying the walk, in a comfortable silence, just taking in her surroundings when he spoke again. She hadn't expected to hear about the doctor again, but it warmed her a little, that he decided to tell her- he really didn't have to.

Crossbreed...? It took her a few moments to understand what he meant. Yes, they were from two different worlds, but Lilith often forget of Sima's demon side, unless he brought it up, or she happened to notice something. It wasn't always on her mind, as it didn't matter to her that it was there. So after a few thoughts, she remembered that they really were two difference races. She didn't see that being a problem but, what did she know- wait. He wanted to know if they could have kids. If he was able to provide them a family... Normally, this would freak her own, sent her flying like a loose balloon, but for some reason, she found it adorable, endearing, even if the thought of it made her blush. They'd certainly already done things that could lead to children, so it wasn't as though it hadn't crossed her mind.

Sima... her tone was completely serious, and she halted their walking to face him, moving to stand in front of him and take both of his hands. Sima, you are the most thoughtful person in the world. I know we're not ready for something like that yet, but even still, you're thinking of it, of a future with me- the fact that you'd even consider having a family with me means the world. But if it turns out, that we can't... that's okay. She'd never seen herself having kids, never have the stern attitude to handle them. Yet, if she pictured it now, as odd as it seemed, she could see herself having a single child with him. Not that she'd be opposed to more- it's the the picture she had in her head.

You don't need to shut up, because you're thoughts are legitimate... I know you probably thought that would scare me, or embarrass me, and I can't deny that my heart is racing, I'm blushing, and I'm more than nervous just thinking about it- let alone talking about it. But the idea isn't absurd, because we love each other... why wouldn't we want a family? But I need you to know, that if it turns out that we can't... this is enough. This will always, be enough. By the time she stopped speaking, her tone was soft and her face sweet and pink, gazing up at him with all the love she could muster.

[Sima Oratio]

SIma looked at her, her words pulsating in his mind. She was not mad, or even too awkward about it. She didn't deny his words, nor did she really accept him. She told him that it was something they would probably think about. She did seem to be a little lenient towards the ok side, but it was neutral in Sima's head. Hotaru was very vocal about her own opinions, and if Sima's didn't collide he would often hear about it. Even if Lilith was angry about something he doubted she would be very angry to the points that Hotaru was. He found it hard not to compare the two together despite trying his best not to it always seemed to happen. He was glad that their were so many things that were different between the two of them, he didn't feel right if he just went for someone that was as close to Hotaru as possible.


 "I'm glad to hear that Lilith, I'm so glad I can feel so comfortable with you." Perhaps it was time for Sima to come clean on other things. "Hey Lilith, I know I tell you not to be afraid, but it's ok If you want to be afraid the odd time." Their was literally nothing that she seemed to be afraid of lately, to be honest. "I've secretly loved it when you depended on me, for fear of the dark, or fear of other things. I hate having you be afraid, but I love being their for you when you are. almost more than I hate thinking of you being afraid. Just the feeling of being needed by you, I guess, it's addictive." 

Sima wasn't sure how she was going to take that, but he was being honest, and he was doing nothing wrong right?  He had the urge to scratch the back of his head, but refrained. 

[Deleted]

She smiled and held in a nervous giggle. I knew that. I mean- well I had a feeling.... And I love when you are there... But this isn't scaring me... Now, if we were to sit down and plan it, and say exactly what we wanted and when- that might. But I've made a lot of progress... I'm really proud of myself. She looked down, blushing nervously. IN public, everything scared her, but with Sima, her nerves stayed calm most of the time. But if he needed to feel needed, she knew she could find things to be fearful about. She could stop hiding certain things that made her nervous or freaked her out. She'd only begun hiding them to not annoy him.

But I love depending on you, probably as much as you love that I do. its... It's that feeling of having someone to depend on at all, its addicting and perfect. Sima, whether I'm afraid or not, I will always depend on you... She smiled softly and turned to continue walking, once more holding his hand in hers. Not to far ahead she could see a swing under a tree, long enough for a few people. Maybe they could stop there?

[Sima Oratio]

SIma listened to her words glad that she agreed with almost everything that he had said. He noted that if she was to plan things she would be scared, but not if they were natural. He felt that everything about their love was natural. He didn't however no how to respond to her, other than to take her hand and continue walking. This was something that Hotaru had only done rarely, make Sima speechless. And if Lily had already done this so quickly in their romantic career, than he wondered what exactly was in store for the two. He continued to walk with here until they made their way to the swing set. 

"Uhmm, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Sima was thinking that a swing could be fun, as long as Lilith agreed to it. He wondered exactly who first made the swing, Sima probably could have thanked him, at least the one in his world.