Reading By the Fire. [Sima]

[Deleted]

It was late. Lilith had returned home within that hour, having spent most of the day in and out of the Queen's chambers. There was a pile of books on the kitchen table, ones she had brought to read to the Queen to pass some time, and that she now wished to reread on her own. She enjoyed her time spent with the Queen, it was always enlightening and light hearted, though there was always an undertone of illness, but Lilith was used to that. When she'd arrived home, she'd set her things on the table; and thus there was her bag next to the pile of books; and had scraped herself a semblance of dinner. She hadn't done groceries in two weeks or so, so she didn't have much to work with; though that had never really bothered her. Lilith munched on a bit of stale bread as she sat down on her couch and read one of the books, a fire crackling across from her, giving off a warm light. 

Her gown was wrapped around her legs snuggly, keeping her warm in addition to the fire. It was a sky blue in colour, nothing fancy. Underneith she wore a white blouse, and a brown belt around her waist. It was a simple ensemble, but it was one she was comfortable in. Normally she dressed a tad nicer when roaming the castle, or even working just with the Queen, but today she hadn’t felt like trying. She just wanted to be simple, like she always used to be. Her long hair was down, aside from a few strand on each side of her face, which had been twisted and pinned back, keeping her face clear. 

Lilith nibbled softly on the bread, making it last so that she wouldn't have to get up to grab more, enthralled in the book as she was. It was a romance, a tale of a woman leaving her home town behind in search of something "more", and finding a man along the way. The two butted heads at first, but when presented with trouble, they had each others backs. As she read there was a small smile on her face.

She'd gotten used to her way of life; going to work, coming home, doing some magic practice, sleeping and repeat. Some days it would vary, and she would sleep in the castle library rather than trekking all the way home just to need to be back by dawn the next morning. It was a steady pattern, and she'd grown fond of it. On her days off she would check in with the restaurant, and pick up anything Ezra would tell her they were low on, but aside from that, she kept to herself. Of course she saw Aria now and then within the castle halls, the king as well. And Tresor visited now and again, only living a block away as she did. Lilith had accepted how things were. Despite missing how they used to be, she was content, and she was okay. She missed him, but she was okay. And she would move forward, she had no doubts that he would do the same. 

[Sima Oratio]

Sima had made his way into the area with record time, despite still being quite taken with alcohol he found his nose to once again be working. He sniffed the air, immediately finding the scent he was so comfortable with, or at least once was. He shuffled forward, his legs aching in pain, having been used almost to their limit. His left hand, had been fractured in many places, and Sima found himself keeping it from moving, holding it down with the leftover hand. He followed the scent to where Lilith was staying, although found himself far too injured or polite, thanks to a few drinks, to stop himself at the door. He found himself barging in, unless the door was locked, in which case he would find himself toppling to the ground like a stack of wobbly cups stood one atop the other. He made his way to wherever Lilith's scent was strongest, finding himself gazing at her curiously, remembering exactly who it was he was meeting with. 

To Sima, reuniting with her, at least for the moment wasn't some awkward thing, but it allowed him to see someone he truly cared about, and thanks to his own morals, and race, he was looking at her in a different light. He was looking at her as still his partner, which he knew was wrong, but in the state he currently was he couldn't help but think of her as such. He sighed, letting out some of his depression as he realizing that despite how he looked at her, he wouldn't feel the same look of embrace back, or at least wouldn't even if it was there, a product of his state. 

"Once second!" Sima called out, heaving in air, having travelled such a long distance in a short amount of time. 

"I'm back," He coughed trying to collect himself, however soon found the alcohol to be setting in much more, causing him to topple, only to catch himself. 

"Alright, I'm ok!" Sima announced happily to whoever may be near, in fact he wouldn't be surprised if he tracked incorrectly. 

Sima's breath wreaked of liquor, but as he collected himself, slowly he became more confident, assured, and his stance returned to stronger more gentler one. 

[Deleted]

Lilith had fallen into a silent lul, the rest of her toast hanging out of her mouth as she forgot to chew, so enthralled with her book. The crackling of the fire was the only sound aside from the page turning every few moments. Thus, the sound of her door barging open was more than startling for her. She jumped a few feet in the air, her book flying from her hands and onto the ground next to her. She prepared herself for the worst, her hand reaching down to her right boot, ready to grab her dagger if need be. The sight of Sima, ragged and out of breath caused her to falter, falling over onto her behind next to her book. Her breathing was heavy as he called out that he needed a moment, gasping for air.

Within that time she managed to stand, patting down her skirts and picking up her book, placing it on the table beside the couch. “I’m back,” was all he said before nearly falling over. He’s drunk. That thought resonated through her mind over and over, sadness taking her over. He announced that he was alright, a sloppy smile on his face as he steadied himself. Lilith slowly walked towards him, part of her preparing her hand to slap him across the face, raising it up, but stopping before it came anywhere close. She couldn’t do that to him. She’d left him, yes… but he had left completely. Just disappeared. Instead, she hugged him. Gently around the waist. Her head pressed against his chest. Welcome back. She could smell the liquor strongly on his skin and his clothing, but she didn’t pull away.

Instinctively, she reached her magic out, knowing full well he would feel it (she’d noticed the ring she’d given him was off) and probed him for any injuries… what she found had tears springing to her eyes. He’s so hurt… Why did he do this to himself? She asked herself silently, slowly pumping healing magic into him to stop any bleeding and start mending muscle tissue. If he were to protest, she would stop immediately. She didn’t know how far gone he was.

[Sima Oratio]

Sima looked at her curiously, as her fear was ever noted. She quickly changed her expressions, and seemed to bring her hand in order to assault Sima. He waited patiently for her to bring him pain, but it appeared as though she changed her mind jumping into something akin to a hug. His heart fell from his chest as he realized that Lilith was so close to his chest. He could also feel her healing spell mending his wounds, repairing his muscle tissues, tending to fibers, almost even strengthening the fractures in his bones. It was a miracle, it seemed he had gotten everything that he wanted. 

Sima however was overcome with great sadness, his face taking on an emotionless feature to it, as if to try and hide what he was truly feeling, but the emotion was just too powerful for him to make it subtle. His heart race increased, his hands left limply at his side terrified to move forward and embrace the hug he felt wasn't going to welcome him, anymore. It was so easy for Sima to get swept away in the feelings that he had craved for for so long. However, his heart was tearing at the seems, and he knew he would tear himself apart if he let it continue any longer. 

He pushed her away from him, trying to keep only one hand of hers, which he tried to redirect to his shoulder. She could still heal him, he really needed that. He may be able to amplify his power greatly, but at such a great cost. It was clear that he wasn't really holding himself back, at least tonight. 

"I've come to talk to you for a little bit," Sima spoke, trying to maintain eye contact with Lilith, although like a dog that was beat by it's master he seemed terrified to do so, as if he'd see something he'd regret finding. 

"I miss you," Sima blurted bluntly, he was after all drunk. "But, I that's not why I'm here! mostly.." He sighed. 

[Deleted]

Surprisingly enough, he didn’t resist her magic. He must be pretty far gone… She thought to herself, a sinking feeling in her chest. Even when they had been together, he was never so willing to feel magic. Yet here, it seemed to be inhaling it like he couldn’t live without it. She felt his hand slowly move to her back, returning her hug. She had no idea what was happening in his head. 

It seemed he needed space, as soon enough he pushed her away, moving his hand to grab hers instead. She looked up at him, her lilac eyes confused. She continued flowing her magic through her hand into his, fixing what she could with such little contact. His hand was riddled with broken bones and fractures, so that was the focus for the time behind. He then moved her hand to his shoulder, which was an odd position, but she didn’t argue. 

He speaks… She thought, hearing his voice for the first time in what seemed like hours. She could tell he was trying his best to keep eye contact with her, so she smiled softly, assuring him he could relax. His next words had her blinking the smile off her face, stunned by the outburst.

I… I miss you too Sima. Come. Sit down with me. Please? She took his arm with the hand that was on his shoulder, and redirected him back to the couch in front of the fire. He looked like he could use the heat. You lost control. Or you pushed yourself too far. May I ask why? She averted the conversation, not wanting to get into the “I Miss You Too, But This Doesn’t Change Anything” speech.

[Sima Oratio]

Sima looked at her curiously as she tried to move him towards the couch. He refused, removing any contact the two of them had. "No, It's alright." He spoke calmly. Sima couldn't help but find himself doubting her words, he had a different view on things than Lilith, and he couldn't help but believe that his heart was the only one aching. 

"I didn't push myself too far, had I done that I doubt I would have made it inside this building." Sima tried to defend himself in some way or another. "Regardless that's not why I came here," Sima didn't mean to sound rude, or to upset Lilith, but if he didn't act fast he wouldn't be able to say anything that he wanted to, and he knew that eventually he would have to leave this household, which would end up being decently soon. 

"I wanted to ask you a question, one that has been itching in the back of my mind for quite some time. Every day I was exploring, I found myself trying to answer this question, and to avail." Sima sighed deeply, speaking any words to Lilith seemed to become a challenge. 

"When is it that you stopped loving me?" Sima's eyes were able to meet contact with hers with confidence, and from his point of view this kind of thinking made sense. She was the one always busy with the guard, or out of the house. He understood she had a life, but he didn't understand when he became no more important than the book she tossed on the ground, which now laid barren on the floor, forgotten with some of it's pages crumbled from the fall, torn open seemingly forcefully by impact, as it laid there a broken mess for all to see. 

Sima didn't point the book out to her, in fact he was going to hand it to her when he left, but for now it was only there sitting in wait. 

"When did I become something you didn't want in your life." Sima spoke words of honesty, what he felt was true, and although Lilith may argue that she wanted him to continue being in her life, Sima would only wonder if she stopped to consider how that made him feel at all. 

It would honestly be heartbreaking everyday for him, to watch the woman he loved with so much passion, move on ward, while he was stuck someone casually awaiting in the sideline, with a friendly response, a calm smile. However, he would only feel the cold harsh reality that he was just someone that wasn't good enough for elf. He was just the demon that she seemed to be mildly interested in.

To Sima, he couldn't help but feel betrayed in a few ways. Not that she had done much to hurt him, or in spite of him. Sima, however spent a long time getting over his ex-wife, and past life for Lilith. It was a trust that he felt he wouldn't give anyone else. Seeing Lilith would only remind him of the trust he gave away, and how he lost it, because he shared those experiences, and pains, with someone he felt was to be his life-partner, only to have everything he shared, ripped away from him. It was heart breaking, and he couldn't help but tear up a little bit thinking about. 

He didn't dare to share anything about it with Lilith, there was no point in discussing it. Sima just wanted his small questions to be answered, so then he could leave what now felt to be a prison. 

He found himself wondering if anything he could ever do would return her to him, but then found himself wondering if he would even want that. There was not much point in wanting to continue a relationship where everything had already fallen a part. He glanced down at his ring, which was now just a reminder of his past wife. He could tell that he wasn't so beat up about it now, and he had moved on, only to find himself once again destroyed by the presence of another woman. 

"Thank you," Sima totally forgot to thank her for the healing she provided, and although it seemed blurted out and last minute it was clear Sima had a lot on his mind. 

[Deleted]

To Lilith’s surprise, he denied her. So she released his arm entirely and took a step back, looking up at him. He defended himself rather quickly, claiming he had another reason to be here. So she stayed quiet. Interrupting him always resulted in him backing away, and she didn’t want that. She waited patiently, her slender arms resting at her sides, and her delicate face turned up to look at him, still maintaining eye contact when possible. He had a question for her. Alright, that made sense. Closure required answers, and if one had the ability to obtain those answers, then why wouldn’t they?

However, his question startled her. Instantly tears sprung into her soft eyes, and her cheeks flushed to match. She turned away, moving to sit on the arm of the couch, no longer looking at him. Though there was water in her eyes, she didn’t let the drops fall yet. He continued on asking when she decided she no longer wanted him in her life, and she instantly knew that telling him she did wouldn’t matter to him. He wouldn’t believe her right now.

Lilith sat in silence for a long time. She needed time to form her words properly. Time to keep herself from sounding like a blubbering baby when she spoke. His thank you went ignored, as she had hardly heard it by that point.

After another minute or so after that, her eyes still down, she spoke. I didn’t. That’s not what happened at all. I… I doubt you’ll believe a word I say, but I didn’t stop loving you, and I do want you in my life. Sima… I left you… not just because I’m insanely busy with my work… but because I was changing you. I was turning you into someone else entirely, and I could see you didn’t want that. That ring… You didn’t want it. You hate magic.. yet I forced it on you, to shut down a part of you that shouldn’t need to be shut down unless you want it to be. I left you because I needed to. Loving you wasn’t even apart of the equation. She sighed, turning her eyes up to him now, a single tear falling to her chin.

You were the single most important person in my life. And I can’t even imagine how hurt you must be; you finally let someone in and they hurt you again. Just like your wife. I realize how awful I must seem to you. How cruel. And I am so sorry. She sobbed lightly. I am so…sorry.

[Sima Oratio]

Sima looked at her angrily, he couldn't believe the words that were coming out of her mouth. Although his actions weren't completely showered with his anger, it was certainly present in his speech. Although to be honest he sounded like a defeated dog, that simply had no options left but to be angry at it's master. His heart beat ever higher in his chest, as he tried to explain to her how this possible felt, how her words only seemed to be comparable to lies in his eyes. 

"I may be a demon, but I was still raised with morals. I was taught many things by my father, and I cherished everything he taught me. He was my world, and even though we ended up leaving each other on bad terms, I believe his teachings were what made me the man I am today.." Sima tried to hide being hurt, being angry, feeling alone, but he just couldn't so. 

"He taught me that when you love someone you live with them, you work for them, but you also let them work for themselves. A pair of two, becoming one, supporting an equal amount of weight. If one falters, the other is there to catch them. If you love someone, you are willing to put past sins behind yourself, " 

Lilith might have been perceiving change in him, but that was because Sima needed to change, and having someone there to help him along that process was important, but it was ultimately a goal he had to reach on his own.

Sima didn't hate magic, he just didn't trust people with it. Lilith was becoming an exception, and he felt as though she didn't realize that.

"I know things were tough on you, but I would have died for you.. If something, or someone endangered you, I would have used every ounce of my power to make sure you were safe, regardless of what I did to my body. I would have helped you pay for whatever it is your heart desired, and I would find a way to make the seemingly impossible reality.." It was true, and Sima believed it. He was currently working on a way to increase his income, although at the time his idea seemed farfetch at the time. 

"I just don't understand how anyone could love another person, and decide to leave them.." It was true, the reasoning behind it, his mind couldn't make heads or tails. To Sima that wasn't even feasible, his heart can't take thinking about it, and he didn't know how someone who had that same love could choose to remove themselves. 

"I'm sorry, forget everything.." Sima groaned, remembering it is why he came here in the first place, although he found himself forgetting time after time, he knew before the end of the night he would at least finish what he came to do here. 

"Lilith, I don't really know how to tell you this, but I almost slept with another woman.." He groaned, "I can't really tell you how lonely I feel, and I guess that I was trying to make her you, because I wanted to feel good again. I stopped myself when her lips touched mine, because I felt as if ruined our bond, as if I broke something precious between us." Sima's eyes broke into tears, he felt as though he could never forgive himself. "I believed that I broke everything I believed in, and I just didn't know who else to tell.." 

Lilith was his best-friend, and lover. He would have told her everything, and although he knew full well they were broken up he still felt as if somehow he broke something more important. He understood, that anyone else might consider it natural, because they were already split apart, but for some reason, he didn't see it that way. She was his best-friend, and he really would want to talk to her about anything, his drunken state making it much easier to do so, but while also oddly making it just as difficult. 

[Deleted]

Lilith glanced up through her tears, but immediately looked away, the anger in his eyes hurting her, striking her with a pain in her chest. He was angry. Of course he was angry. He had every right to be; but that didn’t make it hurt less. She heard it even more clearly in his voice, but she couldn’t meet his eyes any more. Tears were streaming down her face and sobs racked her chest and throat.

She didn’t respond for a while, knowing full well she wouldn’t be able to talk properly. He went on, explaining what he would have done for her, and that was when she snapped. Her eyes darted up, meeting him head on, standing up as well. That was the problem!! You were putting your life behind mine!!! That’s not how it works! We were supposed to be equal, but you made it impossible! You treated me like a queen, and goddess even, and I’m not! I’m a regular person, who just wanted to be your other half. How do you think I would feel if you died for me? How much guilt would sit in my heart forever? That would destory me! But you were never thinking of me. It was always you. How You would feel if I was gone. You didn’t value your own life. Not above or even equal to mine. And I couldn’t live with that… She lowered her voice, her anger spirt gone and she sat back down, her eyes returning to her knees.

He told her to forget everything, which was even more confusing, but he continued on. Another woman? She looked up at him, an eyebrow raised. Sima… I know you think differently than other people… But the moment we broke up, you had every right to do something like that. I will always be here, for whatever you need, but if you decide to move on romantically, than I would be proud of you. I know how much trouble you have doing that. So if you stopped it because of me, and guilt, I want you to know you don’t need to worry about me. And I know you believe you broke something, but you didn’t. Just… make sure you’re ready. That’s what’s important.

[Sima Oratio]

He looked at her, his mind was swirling in so many different directions. He wasn't quite sure how to make heads or tails with himself. He wasn't quite sure why he was even trying to talk to her in this condition, when many of his words would leave his mouth aggressively, that his actual meanings would actually sway away from his. He treated her like a queen? Sima sighed, seeing a retaliation against his aggression. He realized that he should not have acted like that, but found anger easy to give into, especially when drunk. 

"I didn't treat you like a queen, I treated you how a woman should be treated, It's what the person who made me feel whole deserved from the person who loved her so much."

His face filled with tears, but his face didn't seem to change much in terms of expression.


"I realize I didn't value my own life, but you changed that.. " It was true, she really did change some of his perspectives. He held his life with much higher regard, and was even upset at the demon at he met early, for blaming the 'demon side' of her, on all of the bad things she had did. That only meant she was degrading the demon, and Sima felt like it was degrading him. He would have never of thought otherwise if it wasn't for her. 

"I actually came here because I want to tell you that eventually I will like to buy your half of Lua Azul." His face stopped looking at hers, and his heart felt like it was stopping. Sima was done with fighting, or discussing, or blaming, he was done with the main part of the conversation, and it was time to get everything over with. 

"I have grander visions, and I want to move towards these goals on my own accord. I want you around, I just don't know for how long." Sima had a hard time speaking about this, and although it seemed like he was being mean, his voice was only filled with something that could only be explained by horrified dread. Sima knew he was forcing himself, at least for a time being, to be put into the position that he would almost rather die, than continue to be in. He was going to be that lover who is looking on the outside, peering into the life of the person they miss to death, even if for short time, it was only going to break his heart. 

"I'm sorry for making you feel like that," 

Sima felt like a disaster right now, but he felt that he was done. He was about to give up, in fact, he was giving up on much more than whatever relationship they had now, he was giving up on so much more. He was giving up on some of his morals, because it seemed that he wasn't going to ever be happy in life unless he did so. 

[Deleted]

Lilith shook her head. He wasn’t hearing her properly. Yes she’d changed him in good ways, but she knew full well she’d changed him badly too. She gave him a short cut rather than allowing him to learn on his own. She stayed silent, her eyes down still as he moved forward.

His words had her looking up slowly, her face bright red, including her ears, as tears streamed endlessly down her slim face. Her heart felt like it was stopping in her chest, and her face looked absolutely stricken, like he had just slapped her. You… Her voice came out in a sob. She blinked. over and over. She couldn’t register her thoughts.

There’s n-n-no need. It’s y-yours. You can h-have it. I don’t w-want it a-anyway. She managed to sob out, anger filling her eyes, mingling with the absolute heart break.

Now… if that was a-all you wants, I would like you to leave. She whispered out. She couldn’t deal with it. They had opened that place together. Worked towards it together- yes it was his dream, but she had done everything she could to achieve it. But he had bigger visions; “grander” visions. And they didn’t involve her. He wanted her around, but he didn’t “know for how long.” What did that even mean? She looked up at him, her emotions clear on her face, waiting for him to leave, unless he had more to say.

[Sima Oratio]

Sima looked at her, his heart tearing out of his chest. Sima knew he was making her angry, upset. Was that really better than telling her how he really felt? He wasn't entirely sure if it was worth it, if trying to explain everything to her would ever even amount to anything. At the end of it all, Sima was going to bed alone tonight, and he would the next day again wouldn't he? He couldn't help but wonder if she missed sleeping with him, cuddling with him, or even doing more. In his eyes she didn't miss any of it, and none of her responses seemed to indicate so. Sima was only doing this to keep himself from breaking down every night, from tearing apart inside after seeing Lilith come to check up on the restaurant. Sima won't be able to do that forever, and he knew it. 

"I'm sorry, " He wasn't sure how he could even explain himself, but to be honest, for once in his life he found himself wanting to take a step forward for himself. He loved Lilith, and he had tried his best for her. He knew more than ever he wanted to go home with her, and knew the temptation to ask for just that. However, he knew that he couldn't ask for such a thing, and to do so would be admitting that he was a complete mess, at least more than she already knew. 

Sima turned around, heading towards the fallen book on the ground. He picked it up, his nose lightly taking in the scents on it. He found the page which ad the strongest scent, which was most likely the last page she was on. 

"I'm sorry," Sima's eyes continued to fill with tears. 
"I can't stand to look from afar, because I want you to be so close.. " 
Sima didn't really know if she understood the hidden meaning in that, but he just didn't care anymore. 

He turned to look at her, his heart leaping towards her for one split moment, where he found himself barreling into her for a hug. His eyes offloading a large amount of tears, while holding her rather tightly. 

[Deleted]

She ignored his apology. It meant so little now. He wanted her out of his life. He wanted to buy her out. The place they had picked out together. Rebuilt together. Worked so hard for, together. It was no longer hers. You might want to rename it then. She whispered, knowing full well he could hear her.

She didn’t look as he picked up her book either. She kept her eyes down her vision completely blurry. She heard him speaking, but she wasn’t listening anymore. He’d said what he needed. He’d gotten out what he wanted. She knew she heard another apology, and in the back of her mind, she completely understood why he was doing this; however she could think of a hundred other ways he could have gone about it. The first time she’d seen him in months and he takes away the one thing she still had. But she wouldn’t keep it from him.

In the midst of her thoughts her body was jolted as he pulled her into a hug, crying through her clothing. She felt the pressure of his arms, and sobs racked through her body even harder than his. She let him cry for about 5 minutes, not having the strength to move. When she did, she pulled away from him, the hurt still 100% clear in her face, mostly her signature eyes. Get out. Please. The restaurant is yours. No need to pay me. No need to see me again. Clearly that’s what you want, so please. Get out.

[Sima Oratio]

Sima looked at Lilith, wondering when was it that she grew such hostility with him. He was only reacting to what the situation she had put him in, and now he had done nothing but hurt Lilith, and push himself farther into depression. 

"I can't stop loving you, and I can't watch you live without me as your partner." Sima explained. 

Sima wouldn't tell her this, but he believed he'd rather die then continue living in the backgrounds of her life. He wanted so much more then that, and he wouldn't be able to withstand it emotionally. 

Sima watched as she removed him from her. "I'll leave now," Sima went over to the door, and opened it. He snapped the chain of his chest, the one witch held his wedding ring. He reached it out to her, no tears, or even resemblance of regret in doing so. "You need a memento from me, " Sima had enough mementos, and in his current state he actually felt like he was going to go throw them all out, his heart was bleeding with anger, and sadness, and he had to vocalize it somehow, knowing that if he didn't he was taking risks. 

This was also a way of Sima giving up on believing he could have the life he always dreamed of, he wanted to forget about it all at least for one night.

Had she refused to grab it, Sima would simply drop it on the floor. 

"I love you, I wouldn't be doing any of this If I didn't.." Sima admitted silently, before leaving out the front door. 

She had made him get over Hotaru only to have her position replaced with Lilith. It was a feeling he couldn't explain, but now he was actually alone, wasn't he? What the demons deserved right? 

[Deleted]

Lilith shook her head. Think of it how you want. She kept her eyes averted from him, unable to speak much more. She glanced up lightly as he moved towards the door. She heard a snapping sound and looked up curiously. Her eyes widened considerably and she stood up slowly, letting it fall into her palm.

I… Thank you. i think. She murmured. This ring had been one of the things she’d loathed while they were dating. It was Hotaru. It had always been Hotaru. But now it was different. He used to clutch that ring like it was his life. He’d never been willing to give it up while they were together, yet suddenly now it was a memento for her to remember him. Giving her the one thing that had reminded them both of Her. That was exactly what she wanted to remember him by. It left a bitter taste in her mouth, but she stayed silent. She knew in his own way, he meant well.

I love you, and I wouldn’t have done what i did if I didn’t. She responded just as quietly. When the door was shut, she crumpled onto the ground, clutching the ring like it was now her lifeline. It was like they had broken up all over again. Although she was decently over him in day to day life, their conversation had torn open old wounds, leaving her feeling naked and broken up inside.