Facing His Fear (Sima)

[Sima Oratio]

Sima watched carefully as she went to grab a hold of the book. He got a good front row seat to the water that was infront of him. He was afraid of it still, yet he was much more comfortable, and he knew that he was not going to fall in. He took in a deep breath, lnowing that he at least had the comfortable smell of Lilith to keep him calm. He waited patiently for her to return, and he listened quietly. In fact, as he focused on her voice, he became more and more comfortable with his surroundings. However, the rocks, despite the blanket, were not very comforting. Sima decided to stretch his legs out, and lay down slightly. He laid down listening to Lilith's voice, it was enough to keep interested, without the story.



When Lilith finished the story he looked up at her curiously. Not that he didn't enjoy it so far, but he felt much more comfortable in this moment. "Your voice is really quite soothing Lilith," Sima decided he should perhaps sit up. "I love the view of you, and the story, but I know I love having you beside me much more. I know you want to keep me from looking at the water, but, I think I can stand it for the moment. As long as you decide to sit with me,"

[Deleted]

She saw him sit up, and she kept the book open in her lap, smiling at his comment.

You love the view of me huh? She and the slight silent wish that there were at home, in that moment, on their couch, or the bed, somewhere not as public as this. Her cheeks turned a silent shade of pink, and she cleared her throat.

If you like it, we can continue later. But if for now, you would like to sit and watch the water, I don't mind. I am right here. Lilith closed the book and put it back in the bag. She was far ahead in the novel, so she didn't mind putting it away for the moment. She was hoping he'd be okay. They'd obviously made quite a bit of progress already, if he was comfortable enough to sit and look at the water. He wasn't nearly as tense as before. Lilith was still sitting, so she simply turned around to face the water. She would love to take off her shoes and put her legs in, but she doubted she would make such progress with him tonight.

[Sima Oratio]

Sima was glad that she agreed to watch the water. Looking from a distance, he always the water to be terrifying, yet calming. This was something enlarged to an extent. His heart was pounding in his chest, almost creating a pain. However, it was easily compared to other things. Perhaps he should not be so afraid, he felt similarly to when he first admitted his feeling about Lilith, however it was slightly different. He still couldn't shake the feeling he got in his stomach, something of fear, yet at the same time, he got joy. He wasn't entirely sure why, but as long as Lilith was their with him, he didn't care. 

"Thanks for trying to help me, I don't think anyone else would take the time." He felt that this was true, feeling that most people would be annoyed in his slow progress, or simply not want to try altogether. He listened to the ocean, again both finding this calming, yet as much as it is calm, it was also terrifying. "It's beautiful, yet dangerous at the same time." He was of course talking about the water. 

[Deleted]

She smiled at him as he moved next to her, both of them watching the water. It was clear they had two different view points on it, but it didn't bother her. She moved closer to him, leaning her head onto his shoulder, almost able to hear his heart pounding. Her hand rested on his leg, almost like an arm rest. I will do whatever I can to help you, for anything. You know that Sima. She sighed, her voice content. She knew his was more than iffy with the water, but she was itching to draw it. It was so perfect. A soft, shimmering pale blue, deepening at it floated down. Surrounded by a dark circle of green where the grass over flowed, and framing it all was the perfect blend of grey, white and black as the rocks stood boldly. A crystal clear image in her mind. But she knew she could always return at a different time- today was for him.

It is. The beautiful image of calm and serene, yet so easily disturbed and shattered... She picked up a small pebble and tossed it into the water, creating a shattering ripple, breaking the image of the reflection it had once held. Light reflected off of it, bouncing about.

---

I find that many things are beautiful yet dangerous... She tilted her head up, her lips inches away from his jaw line, skimming the skin that was there. She knew what she should be focusing on, but she was always more than aware of other things that were begging to be noticed. Kissing him couldn't hurt could it? After a moment, she gave in, kissing his jaw line softly, before moving to his neck, making a small trail of kisses until she got there. After all, this was distracting him from the water, wasn't it?

[Sima Oratio]

Sima was glad when they were this close, and for once he felt happy to be around this water. It was so calm just sitting there, looking about the water. Perhaps he could make this time more relaxing, if he just calmed down. This was when he noticed Lilith casually making her way up his neck. His heart was filled with nervousness, although he had kissed her many times, the way she approached him he was not used to. It was rather bold compared to the things she had done previously, she was usually quite calm, recluse, about actions such as this. However, despite her making him oddly nervous, and a bit flustered, and placed his hands in what he deemed to be the incorrect places. Awkwardly on her shoulder. He then moved her in an attempt to give her a kiss back. 

However it just looked like an awkward mess, he had a hard time dealing with both the water, and the one time that Lilith seemed to be able to get Sima flustered. It had taken mind off of the water, not completely, but he was more focused on Hotaru than anything else around them. The wind pushed his hair slightly and it fell onto his face covering his eyes. He rather enjoyed that for the moment, considering he could hide how flustered she actually made him. 

[Deleted]

Lilith felt just as awkward as he was displaying, the moment she realized what she was doing. The hand on her shoulder pulled her out of her haze, and she opened her eyes, blinking the sun away. What had possessed her just now? She felt Sima kiss her back, despite the awkward tension that was clear just now. Had what she done freaked him out- of course it did! She picked a lousy time to try something new. She pulled away from him, turning back to the water, her skin used to being pink. When she glanced back at him, less than a moment later, his hair had fallen into his eyes, and though she didn't like the coverage, she found the overall look quite handsome.

She slowly raised her hand, using it to push the hair from his face, wanting to look into his eyes. She needed to know how he was doing with the water. She knew he'd never just tell her unless she made him, but she was pretty good at telling by looking at him. She pushed the hair away and rested her palm on his cheek softly, attempting to hold his gaze for a moment. She then leaned in once more, figuring she should at least finished what she'd started. She'd try what she did at a different time, and would hopefully get a better response. She was silly to think now was a good time.

---

Pulling away once more, she kept her hand on his face. Well. We've made progress today. Her voice was low, and slightly rough, forcing her to clear her throat lightly.

[Sima Oratio]

Sima looked at Lilith and how she responded to his response. It was not that he didn't enjoy this, it was that he was just not expecting it. It certainly seemed to confuse her. Sima stopped however, thinking of what he had just thought. Did he think of her as Hotaru? The thought immediately sunk into his stomach. That was a horrible thing. He couldn't imagine the pain it would put Lilith through. Sima would only hope that it would be the last of his referring to her by the old wive's name. Sima didn't want to hurt her, and he knew that a word like that would certainly do the trick. He refrained from doing certain things, simply because he feared that she could get hurt, that he would hurt her. If he hurt her, even if it was just by words, he would compare it to striking her. If he said those words to her, it would be like he struck her, with a closed fist, and that was something he couldn't handle lightly. Their relationship could be ruined off of something like this, and the initial thought sent worries through his mind.

He couldn't help what he thought, but he could help Lilith feel better right? Lilith was a big part of his life now, and Hotaru was dead. It was so easy to just think Hotaru instead, because that was the only person of his life in that world, for a very long time. He didn't want to ever bring up Hotaru around her, as much as he could help, because he just wasn't sure her feelings on it. He grabbed a hold of Lilith's hands confidently when she began to push his hair out of his face. Something that she had done often, and at first an odd quirk, but now something he enjoyed. 

Sima, when Lilith leaned in once again, leaned in and kissed her, trying not to give her the chance to do so first. He did this with confidence, feeling sad to what he had done to Lilith, and what he thought, before Lilith. Mixing her up was horrible, and he felt bad for it. He only wished that it would stay in his head, he didn't know how they would handle something like that, and only hoped that the day would not come where he pulled such an idiotic thing.  

[Deleted]

Lilith felt his hand encompass hers, strongly and warmly, and if put her at ease. Such a simple connection, so easy, or normal, yet it did so much for her. She noticed how he leaned in faster, beating her to the kiss, and it made her smile, and she smiled into their kiss before falling into it, her mind collapsing with it. She didn't know why that moment had been awkward, but it was over now. If he was able to concentrate on this moment so fully - as it seemed/felt he could - then their progress was far bigger than she thought.

---

She kept their hands up at his face, hers holding his face, and his holding her hand. It probably looked odd to anyone who may see them, but she wasn't in a position to care. She stayed against him, now bringing her other hand to his face, holding both sides. It was like she had to cling to him for fear of falling, and not into the water. Her grip wasn't strong, but it didn't have to be, it was the simple contact that she needed.

---

After a few moment, or minutes, she didn't know - time was far to fluid in moments like these - she moved away, her face remaining inches from his, her hands still holding onto his face.

So much progress... Lilith cleared her throat.

[Sima Oratio]

Sima looked at Lilith blankly, unsure of what exactly was on her mind right now. She was so focused on keeping on her hands on his face. After they kissed, listening to her words only made him feel more guilty for what he thought previously. "Yes, we've made progress.." Sima replied as she cleared her throat. He looked back at the water, which now didn't seem so scary compared to the bad feeling he had inside. He looked at the water, trying to get what he had thought out of his mind. 

He sat there silently, which could perhaps feel a bit awkward for Lilith. Sima wasn't quite sure what he could say, that would make him feel better. He knew it was horrible, and their really wasn't anything he could say to change that. Perhaps getting his mind off of this was the better idea. He one of her hand tightly, and instead of awkwardly asking something, and showing his nervous twitch, he returned to gaze in Lilith's eyes. Sima had the largest urge to start something more then just kissing, it would in fact take his mind off of what he thought, but he also  felt that in a way he was using her by starting something for such reasons. 

He sighed loudly. "Do you want to paint now?" He knew he just had to deal with it for now, it would be wrong any other way. 

[Deleted]

When he turned his head back the water, she released him. She'd seen something in his eyes, and it made her nervous. It was different than the look for him being afraid of the water. She turned as well, bringing her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them, resting her chin on her knee. Her hair was a soft shimmering blanket around her, the sunlight bouncing off of it, similar to the way the water did.

---

I wouldn't be painting, I'd be sketching, but if you feel comfortable, I can. Remember, the reason we're here, is to help you stand water. If you want we can move forward with it, but I highly doubt you want to go in the water today. She spoke absently, her eyes jumping around the reflections upon the water, noting the colours, and wishing she had something to show the colours. She wasn't a painter.

---

What was bugging him, what had clicked in his mind? She had prepared herself for him to be on edge, but this was different. Something had happened in his mind right now, and it took a lot for her not to pry.

[Sima Oratio]

Sima looked back at her as she said she would be sketching him, not painting. He perhaps knew that he was acting differently, and that Lilith  could pick up on that. Perhaps she would answer, but would he respond truthfully? He looked at her curiously, a small smile creeping up his face as she wrapped her arms around her leg. Perhaps this was a better idea. He scooted closer, in case any distance was put between them. And then, used one hand to push her away from her neck. He then began to copy what Lilith had done to him previously, only when he was not expecting it. 

Perhaps now the roles would be reversed, it was also, hopefully something that would keep Lilith from noticing any changes in his behavior. 

[Deleted]

Her thoughts were put on hold as she suddenly felt something incredible against her neck. He'd only done this one or so other times that she could remember, - one being the morning a while back, when she'd forced him to return to their bed, claiming it was for "warmth" - and she loved it more every time. It shot shivers down her spine, and she shuddered lightly. Aside from her ears, her neck was probably the most sensitive part of her, her jaw line right next to it.

She let him do what he was doing, not wanting to interrupt it in the slightest, but after a couple moments she moved so she was able to take his face in her hands once more, but differently. Her hand snaked behind his neck, tangling into the hair that was there, and the other went from his cheek to his shoulder. She still didn't move his face though, quite liking the current predicament. Her thoughts were still there, but she knew enough to know that prying only made them both feel guilty.

[Sima Oratio]

When Lilith grabbed him the way she did, he couldn't help but almost be overtaken with a wave of emotion. It took himself a minute to re-calculate himself. Her hand stretched across to reach firmly on the back of his neck. The other hand was placed, at first on his face, but then moved to his shoulder. The way she grabbed a hold of him, he just couldn't get enough of the closeness they felt. And in fact, this got his mind off of what had been troubling him. He went to move, and place her upon his lap, removing the last few centimeters that divided them, however, this was when his conscious seemed to play into affect. 

Doing this would only lead to much more, perhaps it was best to settle down. The rocks were not comfortable at all, despite the blanket they had which made it slightly better. Sima was still a male, urges certainly played a huge toll on the way he reacted in environments, especially romantic ones. He gripped her tightly, more or less in his own aggravation, but what could be seen as something more passionate. He took a moment, as a feeling in the pit of his stomach rose. He couldn't explain this feeling. It was the same feeling he got, when he knew Lilith was something more for him, it was the feeling he got, the many times they kissed. It was almost a mix of nervous, and anticipation, as well as worry and doubt.

It was easy to think that he could be rejected by Lilith at any time, but despite this odd feeling in the pit of his stomach, he pressed on, with the words that formed in his mind. "Uhmm.. Lilith, may I suggest something.." Sima had a hard time already fighting back what he was feeling, especially when Lilith held onto him like this. Perhaps this was much a better thing to do, rather than, start uncomfortable fun on the rocks.  

"Uhmm, let's go swimming, or well, walking along the edge of the water for me, uhmm.. naked..?" He spoke with a slight stutter in his voice, surprised that he was offering this. He knew that they were their to fix his fear, and to do that he needed to get into the water. He wasn't sure how far he'd actually be able to get in, but a naked Lilith was certainly an incentive. Sima sighed, this was an idiotic idea.  

[Deleted]

He moved her, and it caught her by surprised. She gasped lightly upon being moved into his lap, but aside from that, she continued the kiss, holding onto him tightly. She knew this wasn't a good idea, and had she been a passerby in the past, she would have been mortified just by seeing it. Yet now, she was in the situation, and though she'd be embarrassed had someone walked in, she didn't feel the need to stop. The moment was to intense, to intimate, she couldn't stop it now.

---

She had begun to notice the rocks were hurting her bottom, but thankfully, he had moved her before it begun to bug her to much. She did however wonder, how he was standing it. In the middle of her thoughts, things got more intense, as he held her more tightly, pushing them even closer together, which she hadn't thought possible. Her chest was pressed to his, and her hand on his shoulder moved to his back more comfortably. The hand on his neck tightened, her fingers tangling into his hair, though not enough to hurt him. When he pulled away she took a deep breath, needing to catch her breath now. Her heart was pounding. What had come over them?

---

Upon his question, her eyes lingered in a haze over to his, arching her eyebrow in response, not able to utter a word yet, still gasping lightly. When he spoke his answer she was stunned. Never had she thought he would suggest such a thing- not just because of his fear, but because it was a public area. Though, it was still the end of winter, and many people had not come here recently, the last time they were here, so were Aria and Rivers. She heard the hesitation, the stutter, and her heart leaped for him. There was nothing he wasn't willing to do for her, was there? This wasn't life or death, but these rocks were uncomfortable, and the water would be more concealing of their actions- sort of.

Recently, her only idea of distraction, had been to distract him, and so far it had been working. If this was something that would work, who was she to deny it, regardless of her modesty. It wasn't like he hadn't seen her before, and her him- though she wouldn't lie, she had trouble actually looking still, without blushing; she actually blushed like a freshly bloomed tulip. She wasn't sure she would ever get used to the sight.

---

She wanted to seem like she knew what she was doing, like she had everything planned out, to keep him from worrying to much, about the water or other wise. At his request, it took her a moment to think, but she then moved off of his lap with a final kiss, and untangled her fingers from his hair. She walked a few feet away and removed her coat, throwing it over to her bag, and began unlacing her bodice, her back to him. She had the sleeves around her shoulders when she glanced at him over her shoulder, tossing her hair to the side.

You are joining me, correct? Her voice betrayed her actions, coming out small and nervous, but she was persistent with how she moved, finishing the laces and shimmying the dress down her body. Once that was done, and everything was by her bag, and walked to the springs, to nervous to look at him, and slipped in sighing softly at the wonderful feeling of the water encompassing her. The heat, and fluidity of the movement to the water- it felt amazing. She was admittedly quite excited for him to join her, but she kept it concealed, knowing this would be more than hard for him. When she didn't see him moving right away, she decided to help, and got back out of the water, lifting herself back over the rocky edge. Walking over to him, she made him stand, and began helping him with his shirt. She kept her eyes down, knowing for fact they would betray her as her voice had. She was quite enjoying this, but she didn't want her nerves to stand in the way, and if he acknowledged them, they would.

[Sima Oratio]

Sima felt a bit awkward about the current situation. Lilith was acting differently than she usually did. It seemed that she was trying to be 'attractive'. Not that she wasn't doing a good job at it, but Sima felt that she didn't have to try at all to get his attention. In fact, before he brought up 'swimming naked' he was never more attracted to her. Simply by the way she reacted, without thinking, without hesitation, without even trying it seemed. She didn't have to try, and Sima thought it was obvious. However, it wasn't to say he didn't appreciation her efforts. It was extremely sweet, and 'attractive' in a sense. It meant to Sima that without a doubt, she loved him. He didn't think that anyone would try at all without love, and just the fact that she wanted to try, even if Sima didn't understand what she was trying to achieve fully, it was beautiful in his mind. 

Sima, to say the least was nervous. Despite having already seen her, without clothing, it was still quite an experience. When she took of her clothes, he pried his eyes away. He then thought perhaps their was no reason to not look, so he brought his eyes back up, nervously, to see what his eyes could get a glance on. However, by the time he looked back up Lilith was already in the water. It was slightly upsetting, however she did have her back to him, regardless though, it would have been fun to watch. This was when she asked him to join, he got up, about to remove his clothes. In fact, Lilith, naked alone was enough to get him in the water without help, not to mention the way she was acting.

He knew that Lilith would only act like this with him, at least he hoped. And it was something that made him really enjoy it, despite knowing that Lilith didn't need to try at all to get him to do what she wanted. He was surprised as she came back, helping him remove his shirt. This was certainly out of Lilith's usual comfort zone, especially since he had the full show, nothing impeding his vision. He blushed lightly, removing the rest of his clothes without much help. Sima took a hold of her hand, ready to enter the water. He looked into her eye, trying to keep his eyes off anything else. "Let's go," Sima reached for her hand, walking towards the water. He trusted her, and, even by the water, it was sometimes questioned, if he would come out alive. He dipped his foot in slowly, before feeling the ground. This was much better than falling in all at once. He felt the ground with his foot, and then stepped down nervously into the water. "I'm in.." He groaned.